Scene OneChrissy and Jess enter a school hall setting. Chrissy is a brown-haired tomboy and Jess is a girly-girl.Jess: Chrissy, you're pathetic. Chrissy: No I'm n–– Jess: "Oh, Andrew! You're so funny! Want to get lunch with me, pretty boy?" And then! "Oh, Brad! You're so fricking hot and strong! Teach me football?" She says these way over dramatically. Chrissy: Rolls her eyes. First off, Andrew and I eat lunch together already so your point is INVALID! She does a "WHAT!" move with her arms. Second, I asked Brad if he wanted to play football with Andrew, Jason, Finn, Haley, Anna, Greg, and I! Jess: But you were so obvious and flirty! Chrissy: I was not! Jess: With a teasing tone. Yes you were! It's amazing they haven't figured out you like them yet! Chrissy: Hey! Jess: They're both too in love with you! Chrissy: WHAT?! Jess: Oh, come ON! You can't be that stupid, can you? Chrissy: They don't like me, Jess. They're just–– Jess: Cutting her off. As in love with you as you are with them? Yes! You are so in love with each other that you're completely oblivious! Chrissy: Annoyed. When did you learn words as big as that? Jess: Ignoring her. It's just like a movie! You are–– a bell rings, cutting Jess off (Thank God!) I've got science. Ew. Go flirt in history! Chrissy: But! Oh, whatever. They exit. Scene TwoEnter Chrissy, Andrew, Finn, Jason, Haley, Anna, and Greg. Andrew is kind of scrawny with blonde hair. Finn is an average brunette kid slightly on the short side. Jason is tall with black hair. Haley and Anna are twins who are typical valley girls. Greg is just whatever you want to be. They are talking as Jess walks onstage with Brad. Brad is a tall surfer-type Asian boy. Chrissy: Hey Jess! Jess: Using a sing-song voice. Brad has something to ask you! Chrissy: Blushes. Oh God... mumble that line. Brad: Yeah. Will you go out with me? Chrissy: Um–– Andrew: Puffs up with jealousy and cuts off Chrissy. No! She's going to go out with me! Haley/Anna: Ooooooooo! Brad: Walks up to Andrew. Say that again? Chrissy's mine, bro. Andrew: Oh, hail naw! Chrissy: You guys! Brad cuts her off. Brad: Quiet sweetie. Andrew: Pulls Chrissy next to him. No, she's my girl, stupid! Brad: Yours my ass! Pulls Chrissy back to his side. She deserves a real man! Jess: Oh. Em. Geeee! It's just like on Disney Channel! A football comes from offstage and hits Jess. Hey! Brad and Andrew keep arguing as Chrissy slips away. Soon they realize she isn't there. Brad: Hey! Where'd Chrissy go? Jason: Over there. He points to the other side of the stage where Chrissy and Finn are walking offstage holding hands. Andrew: What the? She's going out with Finn? How come none of us knew this??????? Jason: I did... Andrew: Shut up Jason! Brad: Depressed. Well. This darkened my day... Andrew: Mine too... Brad: Wanna get some froyo? Andrew: Sure! They exit. Everyone follows except for Jess. Jess: Hey! Come back! I can't believe that happened! I mean, who woulda thunk Finn and Chrissy? I mean, seriousl–– She gets cut off by another football and a yell of "Shut up!" from offstage. Alright, I'm going! She exits. Scene ThreeOpen lights to Chrissy and Finn sitting at the local froyo joint. Brad, Andrew, and the others enter. Everyone pauses and makes eye contact. Finn: Well... this is awkward. Chrissy: Definitely. They look at each other. Finn: Wanna leave? Chrissy: Oh yes! They run offstage hand in hand and return just a moment later to grab their yogurt. Finn: Bye! He and Chrissy exit. Brad: Facepalms Great. Just great. Jess: Yeah, I mean, in a Disney movie I'd have totally expected that to happen, but cause we're in the real world and stuff I just thought tha–– She gets cut off by Brad smooshing froyo on her face. Andrew: Now that's a happy ending! Everyone exits.
Chrissy: No I'm n––
Jess: "Oh, Andrew! You're so funny! Want to get lunch with me, pretty boy?" And then! "Oh, Brad! You're so fricking hot and strong! Teach me football?" She says these way over dramatically.
Chrissy: Rolls her eyes. First off, Andrew and I eat lunch together already so your point is INVALID! She does a "WHAT!" move with her arms. Second, I asked Brad if he wanted to play football with Andrew, Jason, Finn, Haley, Anna, Greg, and I!
Jess: But you were so obvious and flirty!
Chrissy: I was not!
Jess: With a teasing tone. Yes you were! It's amazing they haven't figured out you like them yet!
Chrissy: Hey!
Jess: They're both too in love with you!
Chrissy: WHAT?!
Jess: Oh, come ON! You can't be that stupid, can you?
Chrissy: They don't like me, Jess. They're just––
Jess: Cutting her off. As in love with you as you are with them? Yes! You are so in love with each other that you're completely oblivious! Chrissy: Annoyed. When did you learn words as big as that?
Jess: Ignoring her. It's just like a movie! You are–– a bell rings, cutting Jess off (Thank God!) I've got science. Ew. Go flirt in history!
Chrissy: But! Oh, whatever. They exit.
Scene Two Enter Chrissy, Andrew, Finn, Jason, Haley, Anna, and Greg. Andrew is kind of scrawny with blonde hair. Finn is an average brunette kid slightly on the short side. Jason is tall with black hair. Haley and Anna are twins who are typical valley girls. Greg is just whatever you want to be. They are talking as Jess walks onstage with Brad. Brad is a tall surfer-type Asian boy.
Chrissy: Hey Jess!
Jess: Using a sing-song voice. Brad has something to ask you!
Chrissy: Blushes. Oh God... mumble that line.
Brad: Yeah. Will you go out with me?
Chrissy: Um––
Andrew: Puffs up with jealousy and cuts off Chrissy. No! She's going to go out with me!
Haley/Anna: Ooooooooo!
Brad: Walks up to Andrew. Say that again? Chrissy's mine, bro.
Andrew: Oh, hail naw!
Chrissy: You guys! Brad cuts her off.
Brad: Quiet sweetie.
Andrew: Pulls Chrissy next to him. No, she's my girl, stupid!
Brad: Yours my ass! Pulls Chrissy back to his side. She deserves a real man!
Jess: Oh. Em. Geeee! It's just like on Disney Channel! A football comes from offstage and hits Jess. Hey! Brad and Andrew keep arguing as Chrissy slips away. Soon they realize she isn't there.
Brad: Hey! Where'd Chrissy go?
Jason: Over there. He points to the other side of the stage where Chrissy and Finn are walking offstage holding hands.
Andrew: What the? She's going out with Finn? How come none of us knew this???????
Jason: I did...
Andrew: Shut up Jason!
Brad: Depressed. Well. This darkened my day...
Andrew: Mine too...
Brad: Wanna get some froyo?
Andrew: Sure! They exit. Everyone follows except for Jess.
Jess: Hey! Come back! I can't believe that happened! I mean, who woulda thunk Finn and Chrissy? I mean, seriousl–– She gets cut off by another football and a yell of "Shut up!" from offstage. Alright, I'm going! She exits.
Scene Three Open lights to Chrissy and Finn sitting at the local froyo joint. Brad, Andrew, and the others enter. Everyone pauses and makes eye contact.
Finn: Well... this is awkward.
Chrissy: Definitely. They look at each other.
Finn: Wanna leave?
Chrissy: Oh yes! They run offstage hand in hand and return just a moment later to grab their yogurt.
Finn: Bye! He and Chrissy exit.
Brad: Facepalms Great. Just great.
Jess: Yeah, I mean, in a Disney movie I'd have totally expected that to happen, but cause we're in the real world and stuff I just thought tha–– She gets cut off by Brad smooshing froyo on her face.
Andrew: Now that's a happy ending! Everyone exits.